Before the slammer, Paris planning some glamour  —  DAILY NEWS GOSSIP COLUMNISTS  —  Paris Hilton is getting ready for her closeup.  —  Sources say the jail-bound heiress has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her Hollywood Hills home at 9 a.m. Monday.

Opri Bags Birkhead's $$$$$$$$$  —  TMZ has learned Debra Opri, the attorney who Larry Birkhead fired and who billed him for more than $600,000 for legal services, is holding a huge amount of Birkhead's money hostage.  —  Rewind to March, 2007.  Larry Birkhead, who was then fighting …

TRAVOLTA PRESSED ON TEEN SON  —  JOHN Travolta, 53, and his wife, Kelly Preston, 44, just announced they want to try for their third child - even while they fall under increasing pressure to publicly acknowledge the disability of their son, Jett.  —  Travolta has either pretended …

Heidi Montag's Boobies Get A Call from Playboy  —  And it's the kind of phone call that most boobs wait a lifetime by the phone and are never lucky enough to get.  It looks like those chest enhancements of hers are already looking like a better investment than my lousy 401k will ever be.

Paula: I'm Deeply Hurt  —  In an exclusive statement to TMZ, Paula Abdul says: … As first reported by Page Six and posted by Perez Hilton, a secretly taped phone conversation was released today — which featured a sobbing Abdul discussing her former publicist and their strained relationship.

Nicky Hilton Says Jail for Paris Is 'Absurd'  —  With the June 5 deadline for Paris Hilton to turn herself in to jail looming, her younger sister Nicky is speaking out.  —  "I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd," Hilton, 23 …

Ageing heartthrob Tony Curtis faces bald truth  —  He set hearts racing alongside Marilyn Monroe in the 1959 classic Some Like It Hot, but these days ageing screen legend Tony Curtis is barely recognisable.  —  The 81-year-old acting veteran showed off his bald head and silver beard while shooting his latest movie, David And Fatima.

While The Cat's Away.....  Oh snap!  Looks like Samantha Ronson is getting herself some new coochie while Lindsay Blohan's in the tank!  The good thing about having Richie as a girlfriend is you can kiss her on both lips at the same time, because she's so skinny!

Not Completely Unfortunate  —  Personally, I don't think Rumer Willis is that fugly fug.  I think with minor adjustements she could turn out semi-attractive.  It's mostly the hair.  It's got her looking like a Thundercat.  She doesn't help the cause by wearing cat print!

Richie Fries Boyfriend's Ride  —  Joel Madden shoulda seen this one coming!  —  Once again, trouble managed to find Nicole Richie — behind the wheel — and she wasn't even driving in the wrong direction!  This time, the vehicularly-challenged heiress somehow managed to overheat …

As wife packs up, is A-Rod out at home?  —  Rodriguez says his off-field antics won't 'be a distraction' to team  —  Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez vowed yesterday that revelations about his off-the-field antics wouldn't affect his play for the slumping Bombers.

Photo auction that shows we can't get enough of Miss Moss  —  Photos of Kate Moss are hardly a rarity.  After all, her face and figure adorn countless billboards, shop windows and magazines.  —  But that didn't stop collectors handing over a total of £183,000 for the chance to own …

Kirsten Dunst Vs. Drew Barrymore  —  Kirsten Dunst in Interview With a Vampire usually tops our list of scary kids, but Drew Barrymore gives her a run for the money with her head exploding powers in Firestarter! watch them both in the clips below from the Top 10 Creepy Kids!

The Police To Go Unplugged  —  The Police have agreed to do an episode of MTV's "Unplugged" series.  The taping will take place on July 13 in Miami at an as of yet unnamed venue.

Baby DNA check for 'dad' Calum  —  CALUM BEST is to take a DNA test to see if he is the dad of a model's baby.  —  Calum, 26, demanded proof over claims by Lorna Hogan, 24 — who has a five-month-old daughter, Amelia.  —  The bedhopping son of football legend GEORGE this week admitted …

Jennifer Aniston Gets Cozy with Mystery Man  —  Jennifer Aniston's been single since her October split from Vince Vaughn - but she may have a new man in her life.  —  The former Friends star, 38, spent Memorial Day weekend getting cozy with a handsome mystery man with dirty-blond hair.

Night & Day  —  Fug alert!  Kelly Osbourne and Kimbo Stewart were in Venice today shooting some kind of reality show.  I have no idea what the premise is, but I'm sure it's lame.  Maybe they join ugly forces to see how fast they can clear crowds.  Whatever it is...I don't want.