Britney Spears Topless!!!  —  This is how we want to see Britney Spears make a comeback!  Forget about the lipsyncing, floundering on stage, and ripping off her fans!  Just get naked!  —  These pictures were taken in early April of this month at a friends house.  Too bad she didn't do this 6 years ago!

'Scary Spice' Melanie Brown: I'm Taking Eddie Murphy to Court  —  Melanie Brown, who welcomed her second daughter, Angel Iris Murphy Brown, last month, says she's taking ex-boyfriend Eddie Murphy to court to force him to take a paternity test.  —  "He's not doing a DNA test and he's not signing …

Rosie Getting Soft  —  Rosie O'Donnell has alerted the global media via website haiku that she will not longer be verbally backhanding Elisabeth Hasselbeck on "The View" because Hasselbeck's with child .  First off, please stop with the haikus.  It's not adorable, or whimsical or heartfelt.

Lindsay Lohan is Still Drunk  —  In the least surprising news of the day, Lindsay Lohan is reportedly still an alcoholic after her trip to rehab.  Despite her claims that she is clean and sober, Lohan was spotted sucking down champagne and shots at Winston's last week.  A source says:

Angelina: Angelina Gives Ex "Lap Dance" While Brad Babysits  —  On the afternoon of April 27, Angelina Jolie made her directorial debut at the Tribeca Film Festival with her documentary about daily life around the globe A Place in Time.  —  But Jolie's real show, however, didn't begin until later that night.

Wedding Crashed: Esposito and Cooper Split  —  TMZ has learned that actress Jennifer Esposito has filed for divorce from her husband of four months, Bradley Cooper.  The documents, filed Tuesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, cite irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split.

Japan warned over Babel sickness  —  Hollywood film Babel could make viewers ill, according to its Japanese distributor which has taken out newspaper adverts to warn cinema-goers.  —  About 15 people have complained of feeling sick while watching the film since it opened in Japan last week.

Natalie Portman, je t'aime  —  Here's Natalie Portman, once again looking resplendent, at the premiere of Paris, je t'aime (that's "Paris, I Love You," for those of you who don't speak even the tiniest bit of French).  As always, Natalie is absolutely perfect, and there is nothing bad I can possibly say about her.

Sienna Miller Nipple Slip?  Or Just a Bit of Nip?  —  To say these pictures show a full-on Sienna Miller nipple slip would be a bit too strong a claim, however, she was caught at just the right angle, and if you look closely, you can see some Sienna Miller nipple action.

Vanessa Anne Hugdens in her Bikini  —  I don't know who this Vannessa Anne Hugdens girl is or if I should even care.  She was in the 2006 hit Disney Channel film, High School Musical.... I'm not s preteen girl so I've obviously never heard of it.  Apparantly the guy she is with in these photos …

Thin Excuses  —  Keira Knightley has come out to say that the constant accusations of anorexia directed toward her have rattled her brittle bones and fragile core. … When asked their feelings about the eating disorder fiasco, Keira's thyroid hormones and normal menstruation cycle said they they, too, were "devastated."

When Sienna Looks in the Mirror...  Sienna Lohan Dunst Olsen Simpson Sevigny showed off her ass and nips at lunch in London.  I'm serious when I say that these girls are look the same.  They wear the same wayfarers and the same dirty tank.  Are they in competition to see who can look the dirtiest?

A Kelly Carlson Quickie  —  Here's a quick look at Nip/Tuck's Kelly Carlson.  All I want to say is that Kelly doesn't need a nip or a tuck... the girl looks absolutely perfect.  The only real complaint I have is that there aren't enough pictures of her out there.