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5:20 PM ET, May 22, 2007

WeSmirch

 Top News: 
New York Post:
VIRGINAL KATEE VEXES KATIE  —  KATIE Holmes, call your lawyers and Scientology advisers.  —  A blond-haired, blue-eyed fashion student, who claims to be a virgin, has changed her name to Katee Holmes and is launching a porn career in which she'll be deflowered in her first movie.
RELATED:
J. Harvey / A Socialite's Life:   "Katee Holmes" To Lose Virginity On Film
NY Daily News:
Dad's book is no Oprah pick  —  DAILY NEWS GOSSIP COLUMNISTS  —  It could be a chilly Father's Day for Oprah Winfrey 's dad.  —  The talk queen tells us she's "shocked" and "disappointed" that she had to hear it from the Daily News that her 74-year-old pop, Vernon, is writing a book about her.
Pete Norman / People.com:
Angelina Jolie Taking a Year Off Work  —  Angelina Jolie has decided to take a year off to spend time with her family, PEOPLE has learned.  —  "I'm working this summer.  I'm in Prague for a few months, then I take two months off, then I work for two months," Jolie said Tuesday while promoting …
RELATED:
Michelle Collins / Best Week Ever:
EXCLUSIVE: Paula Abdul's Wasted On TV Again  —  Last night, Paula Abdul made a curious appearance on New York's Fox 5 affiliate, explaining what exactly went down during her recent nose breakage... specifically Paula.  While the official story goes that she tripped in an effort to avoid crushing …
RELATED:
Daily Mail:
Paris Hilton: Please God, save me from jail  —  Nothing's going to save you Paris, no matter how hard you try.  The heir-head was spotted in LA carrying a self-help book The Power Of Now and - wait for it - a Bible.  —  If ever there was a cry for help this is it.
RELATED:
FemaleFirst:
Paris Hilton tagged  —  Paris Hilton is to be tagged with an alarm to protect her from fellow prison inmates.  —  The hotel heiress will be provided with a panic device giving her a 24-hour link to prison guards in case she encounters trouble when she begins her prison sentence next month, according to Britain's The Sun newspaper.
Discussion: D*ana's Dirt
Metro.co.uk:
Mick 'stung willy into action'  —  It doesn't rank among traditional treatments, but Sir Mick Jagger apparently once tried to use bees to enlarge his manhood.  —  The Rolling Stones frontman, who has a tiny todger according to one ex, tried to let the insects sting his penis to blow it up - a traditional Amazonian marriage ritual.
Discussion: Dlisted and Celebslam.com
RELATED:
Tamara Hardingham-Gill / Daily Mail:   Mick Jagger 'used bees to enlarge his manhood'
People.com:
Jon Heder and His Wife Have a Girl  —  Kirsten and Jon Heder at Blades of Glory premiere  —  Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder and his wife, Kirsten, have welcomed their first child, the actor's rep tells PEOPLE.  —  The baby girl, Evan Jane Heder, is "safe and sound and healthy," …
People.com:
Jessica and John Reunite in New York  —  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have gotten together ... again.  —  The off-and-on couple reunited in New York City on Sunday night, sources close to the situation tell PEOPLE.  —  "They saw each other last night.  I have no idea what will happen with them tomorrow," says one source.
RELATED:
Daily Mail:
Has Britney fallen off the wagon again?  —  There are new fears for troubled Britney Spears after she was reportedly seen downing shots of booze after a disastrous comeback gig.  —  The singer, who recently spent time in rehab, enjoyed a wild party in Miami into the early hours of the morning.
RELATED:
popbytes:
DANCING 'STARS' DRINK THEIR MILK!  —  good morning y'all!  so last night i did end up voting from two different phone numbers (you could only call five times from one number before getting cut off) for laila ali & her dance partner maksim schermosky to take the top honor tonight on dancing with the stars …
TMZ.com:
Holy S**t!  Paris Turns to Religion?!  —  Hallelujah brothers and sisters!  Paris Hilton has cometh over to the light!  Can you feel Jesus knockin'?!  Let him in!!!  —  With her jail term only two weeks away, Ms. Hilton is pulling out the big guns to prepare for her stint in the pokey …
TMZ.com:
Francis Goes with Not Guilty in Sexual Battery Case  —  Candy Spelling's favorite smut mogul Joe Francis has just pleaded not guilty to one count of alleged misdemeanor sexual battery, a charge stemming from an incident in January in which, cops say, Francis fondled an 18-year-old against her will.
Michael K / Dlisted:
Crackhead Prom  —  Grown-up crackheads have no business dressing like that!  I'm really hoping Drew Barrymore's[ Birthday] party was a costume party, because Courtney Love and David LaChapelle look ridic.  Homegirl looks like she would suck off her prom date for a hit of freon.
Discussion: Wendy Wayrad
Jeannette Walls / MSNBC:
Simpson and Mayer aren't calling it quits yet  —  Plus: Louisiana school now teaching readin', writin' and Scientology  —  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer just can't stay apart.  —  Jessica Simpson isn't back on the market quite yet.  —  The "Dukes of Hazzard" star reportedly broke …
Discussion: The Blemish and WOW Report
Tamara Hardingham-Gill / Daily Mail:
Mel C: 'I wonÂ't reunite with Spice Girls'  —  Melanie C has put a spanner in the works for plans for a Spice Girls reunion.  —  The 33-year-old has insisted that she has no plans to reunite with the girls and is concentrating on her solo career.  —  The girls have been spotted together …
Discussion: Crazy Days and Nights
Adam Winer / Best Week Ever:
TRAILER MIX: Drooling Over The Golden Compass  —  Now that The Lord of the Rings is done and The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter are off and running, it's time to turn our attention to the next (hopefully) great series of films based on fantasy novels.
Discussion: Hellomagazine.com and Cele|bitchy
Ain't It Cool News:
AICN Exclusive!  So What's Going On With WATCHMEN Casting?!  —  A longtime source reared his head today and passed on a few tips about faces we're likely to see in WATCHMEN when Zack Snyder's film version of the long-in-development graphic novel adaptation finally makes its way to the screen in 2008 …
X17 Online:
Drew's Got The Blues  —  Or at least her mystery man does - we spotted the starlet sneaking into Republic in the company of this dude in a blue-hued polo shirt.  (Any of our commenters want to take a stab at putting a name to his face?  Y'all have been on fire lately!)  —  SEE MORE AFTER THE JUMP »
Michael K / Dlisted:
Laying It On THICK  —  Parasite Hilton made sure she was photographed holding two books in her hand: the bible and a self-help book called "The Power of Now."  Notice that these books could have easily fit in her purse.  DUMB WHORE!  What's even better is that she has her scrawn-ass nipples out while holding the Bible.
Us Weekly:
Orlando Bloom Calls Split With Kate Bosworth "Extremely Unfortunate"  —  Orlando Bloom wants to fall in love and settle down...any takers?  —  The 30-year-old Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End star told the Mirror that despite the fact that he's a romantic who really …
 
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 More News: 
Hollywoodtuna:
Cameron Diaz Is No Ogre
Ernie Naspretto / NY Daily News:
Tricked by Tiffany  —  Tourist beaten, robbed by 2 in craigslist scam
Discussion: Jossip and Metadish Feeds
Associated Press:
`The Addams Family' planned for Broadway
J. Harvey / A Socialite's Life:
Beckham Takes One In The Junk
A Socialite's Life:
Demi Moore Hints at Wanting a Baby Boy
Discussion: Access Hollywood
 Earlier Picks: 
Ben Widdicombe / NY Daily News:
John's still a Jess man
Discussion: Defamer and Jossip
Star:
Leo & Bar: Splitsville?
Discussion: Dlisted and Glitterati
Baz Bamigboye / Daily Mail:
The moment a top fashion designer's wife's trousers fell down at Cannes
Hollywoodtuna:
Kate Beckinsale Needs Sex And I'm The Man To Give It To Her
Discussion: Celebrity Pictures
Stephen M. Silverman / People.com:
Jessica Alba Says She's Really a 'Dork'
Discussion: Jezebel