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3:50 PM ET, May 22, 2007

WeSmirch

 Top News: 
New York Post:
VIRGINAL KATEE VEXES KATIE  —  KATIE Holmes, call your lawyers and Scientology advisers.  —  A blond-haired, blue-eyed fashion student, who claims to be a virgin, has changed her name to Katee Holmes and is launching a porn career in which she'll be deflowered in her first movie.
RELATED:
Michael K / Dlisted:
Katie Holmes is Not Happy With This Girl
Discussion: Crazy Days and Nights
Michael K / Dlisted:   "Help Me"  —  Awww!  Tom and Suri Cruise almost look …
NY Daily News:
Dad's book is no Oprah pick  —  DAILY NEWS GOSSIP COLUMNISTS  —  It could be a chilly Father's Day for Oprah Winfrey 's dad.  —  The talk queen tells us she's "shocked" and "disappointed" that she had to hear it from the Daily News that her 74-year-old pop, Vernon, is writing a book about her.
Daily Mail:
Paris Hilton: Please God, save me from jail  —  Nothing's going to save you Paris, no matter how hard you try.  The heir-head was spotted in LA carrying a self-help book The Power Of Now and - wait for it - a Bible.  —  If ever there was a cry for help this is it.
RELATED:
FemaleFirst:
Paris Hilton tagged  —  Paris Hilton is to be tagged with an alarm to protect her from fellow prison inmates.  —  The hotel heiress will be provided with a panic device giving her a 24-hour link to prison guards in case she encounters trouble when she begins her prison sentence next month, according to Britain's The Sun newspaper.
Discussion: D*ana's Dirt
Alissa R / Us Weekly:
Chihuahua Breaks Paula Abdul's Nose  —  Don't be surprised if Paula Abdul has a bandage on her face for the season finale of American Idol tomorrow night and Wednesday.  Abdul suffered a broken nose over the weekend after tripping in an effort to avoid her chihuahua, Tulip.
RELATED:
Associated Press:
Paula Abdul Breaks Nose in Dog Mishap
Discussion: Reality TV World
Michelle Collins / Best Week Ever:
EXCLUSIVE: Paula Abdul's Wasted On TV Again
Discussion: Seriously? OMG!
Pete Norman / People.com:
Angelina Jolie Taking a Year Off Work  —  Angelina Jolie has decided to take a year off to spend time with her family, PEOPLE has learned.  —  "I'm working this summer.  I'm in Prague for a few months, then I take two months off, then I work for two months," Jolie said Tuesday while promoting …
Discussion: Dlisted, Jossip and dailystab.com
RELATED:
Stephen M. Silverman / People.com:
Angelina Jolie: I Have Nothing to Hide
Daily Mail:
Has Britney fallen off the wagon again?  —  There are new fears for troubled Britney Spears after she was reportedly seen downing shots of booze after a disastrous comeback gig.  —  The singer, who recently spent time in rehab, enjoyed a wild party in Miami into the early hours of the morning.
RELATED:
People.com:
Jon Heder and His Wife Have a Girl  —  Kirsten and Jon Heder at Blades of Glory premiere  —  Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder and his wife, Kirsten, have welcomed their first child, the actor's rep tells PEOPLE.  —  The baby girl, Evan Jane Heder, is "safe and sound and healthy," …
Discussion: Celebrity Baby Blog
New York Post:
LINGERING LOVE  —  REPORTS of John Mayer and Jessica Simpson's "split" may be premature.  Although our spies saw Mayer flirting with other women on Thursday night - and overheard the shaggy-haired musician tell friends he was "happy being single" - a source at the Soho...
RELATED:
Stephen M. Silverman / People.com:
Jessica Alba Says She's Really a 'Dork'  —  Jessica Alba says her looks can be deceiving.  —  "People think of me as just a sexy girl," the self-described "dork," 26, says in the June issue of InStyle, "but I'm really goofy - like, super goofy."  —  Not that she's knocking her looks …
Discussion: Jezebel
Adam Winer / Best Week Ever:
TRAILER MIX: Drooling Over The Golden Compass  —  Now that The Lord of the Rings is done and The Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter are off and running, it's time to turn our attention to the next (hopefully) great series of films based on fantasy novels.
Discussion: Hellomagazine.com and Cele|bitchy
TMZ.com:
Holy S**t!  Paris Turns to Religion?!  —  Hallelujah brothers and sisters!  Paris Hilton has cometh over to the light!  Can you feel Jesus knockin'?!  Let him in!!!  —  With her jail term only two weeks away, Ms. Hilton is pulling out the big guns to prepare for her stint in the pokey …
Jeannette Walls / MSNBC:
Simpson and Mayer aren't calling it quits yet  —  Plus: Louisiana school now teaching readin', writin' and Scientology  —  Jessica Simpson and John Mayer just can't stay apart.  —  Jessica Simpson isn't back on the market quite yet.  —  The "Dukes of Hazzard" star reportedly broke …
Discussion: The Blemish and WOW Report
Tamara Hardingham-Gill / Daily Mail:
Mel C: 'I wonÂ't reunite with Spice Girls'  —  Melanie C has put a spanner in the works for plans for a Spice Girls reunion.  —  The 33-year-old has insisted that she has no plans to reunite with the girls and is concentrating on her solo career.  —  The girls have been spotted together …
TMZ.com:
Francis Goes with Not Guilty in Sexual Battery Case  —  Candy Spelling's favorite smut mogul Joe Francis has just pleaded not guilty to one count of alleged misdemeanor sexual battery, a charge stemming from an incident in January in which, cops say, Francis fondled an 18-year-old against her will.
Discussion: poponthepop.com
Ain't It Cool News:
AICN Exclusive!  So What's Going On With WATCHMEN Casting?!  —  A longtime source reared his head today and passed on a few tips about faces we're likely to see in WATCHMEN when Zack Snyder's film version of the long-in-development graphic novel adaptation finally makes its way to the screen in 2008 …
popbytes:
DANCING 'STARS' DRINK THEIR MILK!  —  good morning y'all!  so last night i did end up voting from two different phone numbers (you could only call five times from one number before getting cut off) for laila ali & her dance partner maksim schermosky to take the top honor tonight on dancing with the stars …
Discussion: Wendy Wayrad and BuzzSugar
Baz Bamigboye / Daily Mail:
The moment a top fashion designer's wife's trousers fell down at Cannes  —  For Eva Cavalli, wife of Italian fashion designer Roberto Cavalli, it doesn't get any more embarrassing than this.  —  Hosting a star-studded A-list party aboard the couples' exclusive private cruiser in Cannes …
Tamara Hardingham-Gill / Daily Mail:
Mick Jagger 'used bees to enlarge his manhood'  —  Mick Jagger used bees to attempt to enlarge his manhood, a friend of the Rolling Stones star has revealed.  —  Movie director Julien Temple made the astonishing claims in an interview with Radio 4.  —  Scroll down for more
Us Weekly:
Orlando Bloom Calls Split With Kate Bosworth "Extremely Unfortunate"  —  Orlando Bloom wants to fall in love and settle down...any takers?  —  The 30-year-old Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End star told the Mirror that despite the fact that he's a romantic who really …
 
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 More News: 
Associated Press:
`The Addams Family' planned for Broadway
J. Harvey / A Socialite's Life:
Beckham Takes One In The Junk
A Socialite's Life:
Demi Moore Hints at Wanting a Baby Boy
Discussion: Access Hollywood
Caris Davis / People.com:
Keith Urban Says Nicole Kidman's Not Pregnant, Yet
Ben Widdicombe / NY Daily News:
John's still a Jess man
Discussion: Defamer and Jossip
 Earlier Picks: 
Metro.co.uk:
Ben supports Knocked Up friends
Discussion: A Socialite's Life
Michael K / Dlisted:
Laying It On THICK  —  Parasite Hilton made sure she was …
Daily Mail:
Victoria Beckham's blow-up doll paparazzi prank
Discussion: Celebritology
Hollywoodtuna:
Kate Beckinsale Needs Sex And I'm The Man To Give It To Her
Discussion: Celebrity Pictures
New York Post:
GEORGE'S ARTFUL SPREE
Discussion: Daily. Gay. News.