NOT AT HIS BEST  —  DON'T expect John Stamos to visit Australia again any time soon.  The "ER" star was called "bleary-eyed, staggering and slurring," as well as "tired and emotional," by a Sydney newspaper after appearing on several TV shows in a highly disheveled state.

Kevin Federline Worried About Britney  —  Is Britney Spears in need of help?  —  Kevin Federline believes so.  "He thinks she's mentally unstable and too young to be a mom," a source close to Federline, 29, tells Us Weekly, adding that the father of Spears' two sons (Sean, 21 months …

Sheriff: I Was Trying to Save Paris's Life  —  Hours after Paris Hilton's release from jail, Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca was called before lawmakers Tuesday to justify why he had initially transferred her to home confinement.  —  "Our doctors said we had no solution to Hilton's medical problems.

Paris Hilton: PEOPLE's Exclusive Interview  —  "Thank God I'm free!"  —  These were the words of Paris Hilton, smiling and fluffing her newly replaced blonde hair extensions Tuesday at her grandfather's Bel Air mansion, just hours after her release from the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif.

Rosie Explains Controversial Photo  —  Image Of Her Child Wearing Ammo Belt Evokes Passionate Reaction On Blog  —  (CBS) When Rosie O'Donnell posted a photo on her blog of her four-year-old daughter Vivienne Rose dressed up in a military costume complete with ammo belt filled with toy bullets around her chest, her fans reacted.

On the Cover: Amy Winehouse  —  Read the interview, and watch footage shot by Amy's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, at our cover shoot! … It's 2 A.M. and I'm waiting for Amy Winehouse in the lobby of the Soho Grand wearing a slice of tomato on my head.  She bet me $100 that I couldn't walk …

Us Weekly Gives Paris (and You) a Rest  —  Celebrity News: Us Weekly Gives Paris (and You) a Rest  —  While we're happy to provide you with work-avoiding Paris Hilton stories all day long here at Usmagazine.com, we realize that Paris, like paperwork, is not something you want to take home with you.

COLD SHOULDER  —  IS there a beef between Madonna and Janet Jackson?  Madge was chummy with fellow singer Shakira at Butter Monday night (our spy said they showed up "hand in hand") and was spotted dancing on banquettes with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Penelope Cruz.

Britney Unable To Perform The Simplest Of Tasks  —  The boyfriend works with developmentally disabled adults, and I'm pretty sure Britney might be what he would refer to as "a client".  Britney Spears, still rich but shunning the services of a stylist or hair and makeup person or anyone …

Zitney Spears  —  Pop!  —  Britney Spears' mug was popped last night as she headed into a supermarket to fetch a few groceries after a hard couple of hours in the recording studio.  —  Wearing a tweed cap to hide her scraggly, shoe-dyed weave — in her new disguise as a 1930s gangster …

NO-SPYING ZONE  —  CELEBS can expect privacy at the Tower Bar at the Sunset Tower Hotel in L.A. Last week, an entertainment freelance reporter for one of the weeklies was unceremoniously booted after she was caught texting people that Jennifer Aniston was there with her new beau, Paul Colford.

GOLD MEMBER  —  Straight from her vacation on the French Riviera with boyfriend Jay-Z, Beyonce hits the stage for a flashy performance of "Get Me Bodied" at the BET Awards at Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium on Tuesday.  The singer also walked away with two trophies: for best R&B artist and video of the year for "Irreplaceable."

Bonds gal pal has a hot pitch  —  Barry Bonds may be a superstar in the stadium, but ex-mistress Kimberly Bell isn't ready to give him any MVP awards.  —  Bell, who dated the slugger for nine years, told a grand jury in 2005 that Bonds blamed a 1999 elbow injury on his alleged steroid use.

WWE Releases Benoit Text Messages  —  It keeps getting more bizarre with every detail ...  Chris Benoit sent a series of text messages to WWE co-workers, some from his dead wife's cell phone.  According to WWE.com, all five text messages were sent between 3:53 AM and 3:58 AM on June 24.