J.Lo's twins will live the high life  —  Jennifer Lopez is leaving no doubt she's expecting boy and girl twins — and that they will grow up in the sort of luxury befitting royals.  In fact, the 38-year-old mama-to-be bought pink and blue onesies: one monogrammed "princess," the other, "prince."

Why they now look up to Paris  —  Paris Hilton is being hailed as a hero after "rescuing" a little person injured as part of an Oompa Loompa act during Art Basel Miami Beach Saturday night.  —  The shocking accident happened during a Beacher's Madhouse performance, sponsored by Ariva, at Cameo nightclub.

HATE MY EX  —  EVA Longoria apparently doesn't live by the best-friend code of "don't be nice to the ex."  When her close pal Jessica Simpson got wind that Longoria was hanging with Simpson's ex, John Mayer, the other night at Gold Bar on Broome Street, she "went nuts," said an insider.

Jodie Foster publicly acknowledges her lesbian partner for the first time  —  Actress Jodie Foster paid tribute to "my beautiful Cydney" - her lesbian partner of more than 15 years - in a thank you speech at an awards ceremony, finally confirming Hollywood's most open secret.

Queen Latifah laughs off gossip  —  'There ain't gonna be no wedding,' singer says  —  I caught up with Queen Latifah (and Gabrielle Union) while they were in town this weekend with Morris Chestnut and Faizon Love to promote their upcoming Christmas flick, ''The Perfect Holiday" (opening Wednesday), which Queen Latifah also produced.

Britney Gets Caught Short  —  Britney Spears has been having a rough run of things lately - but last night, she was back to her old, cheeky self!  The Queen B had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction Monday night while attempting to exit her Mercedes courtesy of her scandalously short dress.

Side Dish  —  Madonna will help Hillary Clinton combat the Oprah-powered campaign of Barack Obama.  Her Madgesty, whose charity work in Malawi has been supported by Bill Clinton's foundation, tells us she stands ready to serve.  Meanwhile, Johnny Depp is playing the campaign for laughs.

Quiet Riot Singer Died of Cocaine Overdose  —  Nevada's Clark County Coroner has ruled that singer Kevin Dubrow, from '80s metal band Quiet Riot, died of an accidental cocaine overdose.  The cause of death was confirmed after toxicology results came in Monday.

LAPD Investigating Burglary at Charlize Theron's Home  —  The LAPD has confirmed to Us that there is an investigation in progress concerning a burglary at Charlize Theron's house in the Hollywood Hills.  —  "There was a break in reported at her home sometime over the weekend between the 6th and 8th," Officer Ana Aguirre tells Us.

Are they all your own Goldenballs, Becks?  David shows off his lunchbox in Armani ad  —  As a footballer and a family man he has courted maximum exposure.  —  But never quite in such an, er, upfront manner.  —  Not that David Beckham looks in the least bit bashful as he models a pair of brilliant white briefs from Giorgio Armani.

Jessica Simpson's naked ambition  —  Jessica Simpson is desperate to strip naked in a Hollywood movie.  —  The blonde beauty wants to be taken seriously as an actress and believes baring all is the best way to earn the respect of Tinseltown, even if it goes against her family's wishes.

Courtney Love on Frances Bean: 'Teenagers Are Hard'  —  She may be known for her wild antics and trouble with the law but Courtney Love is trying her best for daughter Frances Bean.  —  Love, 43, says in a new U.K. magazine interview that she recently let 15-year-old Franny (as she calls her) …

Ass Out, Back To Black  —  Nothing starts your morning like seeing Britney's bare, sunburned ass.  It's staring at me with a grimace on its face.  It's saying to me "Pleeeease saaaveeee me."  Brit Brit once again was at the Four Seasons yesterday where she showed off her newly dyed weave.

Angelina Jolie: 'My blonde-haired natural daughter Shiloh is the outcast in our family'  —  Angelina Jolie revealed that her blonde-haired blue-eyed natural child Shiloh, 20 months, is the 'outcast' in her ethnically diverse family.  —  The actress - who has adopted three other children …

PETA Targets Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in New Campaign, Calls Them the "Trollsen Twins"  —  Move over, Jennifer Lopez.  —  PETA has a new target.  —  Well, two targets: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.  —  In a new ad campaign to be unveiled today at the Olsens' Walk of Fame star on Hollywood Boulevard …

Slut Bag Stare!  —  If Kim Kardashian was a Care Bear, she'd be Slut Bag Bear and her powers would be shooting used up jizz from her belly to destroy evil.  Seriously, that belt is no joke.  She probably keeps condoms in there.  Yeah, I made a funny.  Like she uses condoms.

ROCKER'S GIRL IN CLUB CATFIGHT  —  BAD boy rocker Steven Tyler was grilled by cops early Saturday after his girlfriend got into a catfight with a Seminole Indian woman at trendy Hollywood, Fla., nightclub Pangaea, witnesses report.  —  The legendary Aerosmith frontman and his blond bombshell girlfriend …

Naomi Campbell Mugged at Zeppelin Concert  —  Would it be an event if Naomi Campbell weren't somehow at the center of things?  While Led Zeppelin reunited in London to memorialize Atlantic Records' Ahmet Ertegun, the supermodel was in a luxury box at the O2 Arena getting mugged.

Jessica Biel voted the cleanest celebrity  —  There are some awards in Hollywood that everyone is always clamoring to win: Emmys, Grammys... SAG awards.  Then there are some awards people don't care about either way.  The Blockbuster awards... the Nickelodeon awards... VH-1 Honors, crap like that.