HATE MY EX  —  EVA Longoria apparently doesn't live by the best-friend code of "don't be nice to the ex."  When her close pal Jessica Simpson got wind that Longoria was hanging with Simpson's ex, John Mayer, the other night at Gold Bar on Broome Street, she "went nuts," said an insider.

J.Lo's twins will live the high life  —  Jennifer Lopez is leaving no doubt she's expecting boy and girl twins — and that they will grow up in the sort of luxury befitting royals.  In fact, the 38-year-old mama-to-be bought pink and blue onesies: one monogrammed "princess," the other, "prince."

Queen Latifah laughs off gossip  —  'There ain't gonna be no wedding,' singer says  —  I caught up with Queen Latifah (and Gabrielle Union) while they were in town this weekend with Morris Chestnut and Faizon Love to promote their upcoming Christmas flick, ''The Perfect Holiday" (opening Wednesday), which Queen Latifah also produced.

Why they now look up to Paris  —  Paris Hilton is being hailed as a hero after "rescuing" a little person injured as part of an Oompa Loompa act during Art Basel Miami Beach Saturday night.  —  The shocking accident happened during a Beacher's Madhouse performance, sponsored by Ariva, at Cameo nightclub.

Side Dish  —  Madonna will help Hillary Clinton combat the Oprah-powered campaign of Barack Obama.  Her Madgesty, whose charity work in Malawi has been supported by Bill Clinton's foundation, tells us she stands ready to serve.  Meanwhile, Johnny Depp is playing the campaign for laughs.

Jodie Foster publicly acknowledges her lesbian partner for the first time  —  Actress Jodie Foster paid tribute to "my beautiful Cydney" - her lesbian partner of more than 15 years - in a thank you speech at an awards ceremony, finally confirming Hollywood's most open secret.

Angelina Jolie: 'My blonde-haired natural daughter Shiloh is the outcast in our family'  —  Angelina Jolie revealed that her blonde-haired blue-eyed natural child Shiloh, 20 months, is the 'outcast' in her ethnically diverse family.  —  The actress - who has adopted three other children …

PETA Targets Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in New Campaign, Calls Them the "Trollsen Twins"  —  Move over, Jennifer Lopez.  —  PETA has a new target.  —  Well, two targets: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.  —  In a new ad campaign to be unveiled today at the Olsens' Walk of Fame star on Hollywood Boulevard …

Naomi Campbell Mugged at Zeppelin Concert  —  Would it be an event if Naomi Campbell weren't somehow at the center of things?  While Led Zeppelin reunited in London to memorialize Atlantic Records' Ahmet Ertegun, the supermodel was in a luxury box at the O2 Arena getting mugged.

Britney Gets Caught Short  —  Britney Spears has been having a rough run of things lately - but last night, she was back to her old, cheeky self!  The Queen B had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction Monday night while attempting to exit her Mercedes courtesy of her scandalously short dress.

Hilary Swank Opens Up About Her Boyfriend - and Her Vitamin Habit  —  What's the status of Hilary Swank's relationship with boyfriend John Campisi?  You should already know the answer to that, the two-time Oscar winner says.  —  "Of course I'm in love," the actress, 33, tells W magazine in its January issue.

Ass Out, Back To Black  —  Nothing starts your morning like seeing Britney's bare, sunburned ass.  It's staring at me with a grimace on its face.  It's saying to me "Pleeeease saaaveeee me."  Brit Brit once again was at the Four Seasons yesterday where she showed off her newly dyed weave.

Pee-Wee's Big Return?  Paul Reubens Discusses Plans For Two Pee-Wee Films  —  'I feel like the time is really ripe right now,' actor says of bringing his perennial man-child out of retirement.  —  "Being Pee-wee Herman is a good conversation starter," Paul Reubens said in a mellow deadpan …

Heidi Actually Embarrasses Spencer  —  Shameless though he is, there may only be one thing in the world that can embarrass Spencer Pratt, and TMZ witnessed it last night  —  Blasting a track from her meagerly-anticipated debut CD from her car outside of Koi, Heidi Montag did a very, very …