I See Dead People  —  Lindsay Lohan won't be touching any dead bodies during her stint on morgue duty this morning ... but TMZ has learned she's already come face to face with a real not-live human corpse.  —  Sources tell us ... Lindsay is on sheet-washing duty ... and she covered her mouth …

Lindsay Lohan's Mother Sells Her Down the River in Planned Memoir  —  Lindsay Lohan's mom is trying to expose her own daughter's dark secrets, blowing the lid off of Lindsay's alleged drug and alcohol use in a memoir that she's shopping around town — shopping it as recently as 2 weeks ago …

Kim Kardashian Is Pretending To Get A Divorce Already  —  Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries got married practically yesterday, but already numerous tabloids are reporting/reprinting press releases from Kris Jenner that it's not working out because of Kim's schedule.

EXCLUSIVE!  TAYLOR ARMSTRONG GETS THE BOOT!  —  Photo credit:  —  INF Daily  —  Blurb:  —  The ENQUIRER has learned TAYLOR ARMSTRONGhas been kicked off “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” . . .  Images:  —  The ENQUIRER has learned TAYLOR ARMSTRONGhas been kicked off …

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Together at His Premiere Party  —  Justin Timberlake; Jessica Biel (inset)  —  Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have remained friendly since their breakup earlier this year - but now it seems their romance may have been rekindled beyond bike rides.

Courtney Stodden Shopped Her Reality Show To MTV, Of Course  —  With Merv Griffin Entertainment producing Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison's reality show because apparently their marriage WASN'T about a love as pure as a man purchasing a child bride in the driven snow …

Just A Bad Angle?  Haley Joel Osment Looks Pudgy  —  Haley Joel Osment attended the opening of “Red” at the Suzanne Roberts Theater in Philadelphia, Penn., yesterday.  The 23-year-old looks a little heftier than usual, but it could be a bad photo (see him in the one below).

PIC: Natalie Portman Shows Off 4-Month-Old Son Aleph  —  They grow up so fast!  —  PHOTOS: Natalie's gorgeous pregnancy  —  Natalie Portman gave a rare glimpse of her adorable 4-month-old son Aleph while leaving a friend's house in L.A. Thursday.  The actress has kept a low-profile since giving birth …

Nothing Like A Pimp Selling Out Her Ho  —  The shocking news of the day is that White Oprah is redirecting the usual actions of her pimp hand from pushing her kids onto the ho stroll to pushing at her ghostwriter to do that extra line of powdered No Doz so they can finish her memoirs before her #1 ho gets thrown into jail.

Regis Philbin: ‘Contractual Issues Forced Me To Leave LIVE!’  —  Regis Philbin is admitting publicly that “contractual issues” have forced him to leave his longstanding gig on LIVE! with Regis and Kelly, RadarOnline.com has learned.  —  The 80-year-old talk show veteran first announced …

Joseph Gordon-Levitt eyes Tarantino's ‘Unchained’  —  Thesp in talks for helmer's spaghetti Western  —  Nearly a month after dining with director Quentin Tarantino, “50/50” star Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in talks to join the cast of the helmer's spaghetti Western “Django Unchained.”

Julie Bowen Will Only Have More Kids Through “Immaculate Conception”  —  Julie Bowen is a happy mother of three in real life and on ABC's Modern Family — and that's exactly how she wants to keep it.  —  PHOTOS: Modern Family - Secrets of the Set!  —  “Immaculate conception is the only way another kid is coming out of me!”

Kelly Clarkson  —  Pop princess, queen of grunge, just a regular girl, or all three?  Kelly Clarkson tells Alex Macpherson why breaking out of American Idol's mould has been a hard-won fight  —  'I want to punch Adele in the face!  “ Kelly Clarkson throws back her head and guffaws. ”

Chris Brown — MJ's Daughter Gets VIP Treatment at My Show!  —  Michael Jackson's daughter is in love with Chris Brown ... and last night at his L.A. concert, the singer made sure the King of Pop's little girl got nothing short of the royal treatment.  —  Sources close to Brown tell TMZ …

VIDEO: “Jersey Shore” Season 5 Sneak Peek - Pauly D Tans Until His Face Falls Off, Girls Hold Slut Contest  —  Have there really been five seasons of the “Jersey Shore” already?  —  Now that the “Jersey Shore” Season 4 finale has aired, the crew from Seaside Heights is pumped to be back in the States for more misadventures.

Conrad Murray Still Gave Michael Jackson Propofol After Breathing Stopped: Expert  —  Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson higher dosages of drugs than he told detectives, and apparently had the anesthetic propofol still trickling into Jackson's veins as his heart stopped beating, the prosecution's star witness told jurors Thursday.

Child porn arrest made: Man was contestant on ‘Top Chef’  —  A Plano man featured last fall on season one of Top Chef's “Just Desserts” was indicted this month for possession of child pornography and is scheduled to appear before a Collin County judge Oct. 27.

EXCLUSIVE!  Kim Kardashian Hosting Sexy NYE Party At TAO!!  Competing With Kourtney??  —  As Kim Kardashian gets ready to head to Vegas for her birthday at Marquee this Saturday, we can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that she will return to Sin City for NYE at TAO!!  —  The party is sure to be exciting …

From The Mind Of St. Angie.....  The trailer for St. Angie's directorial debut In The Land of Blood & Honey (or In The Land of Blood & HUUUUUUNTY as my favorite YouTube star will undoubtedly call it) is here and watching it will make you ejaculate sunshine and burp up warm hearts.

Carey Mulligan boards pics for Coens, Spike Jonze  —  Pair of pics will keep Mulligan busy through spring  —  After a busy fall in theaters, Carey Mulligan looks to keep herself occupied in 2012, landing the female lead in Coen Brothers next pic “Inside Llewyn Davis” and entering negotiations …

Bradley Cooper may cry ‘U.N.C.L.E.’  —  ‘Hangover’ thesp offered the Napoleon Solo role his CAA team fought for  —  EXCLUSIVE: After a whirlwind casting search that has seen Matt Damon and Johnny Depp pass on the lead role vacated by George Clooney, Bradley Cooper has emerged …