WHY BRITNEY COULDN'T HACK IT  —  Britney Spears has no one to blame but herself for her disastrous performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night.  The lip-synching pop tart showed up for her big comeback late, unprepared and with a drink in her hand.

Madonna's X-rated purchase revealed  —  More than a decade after shocking the world her infamous coffee table photo-book Sex, Madonna has proved that she's still capable of raising eyebrows.  —  While she may have traded in that infamous raunchy image for a more settled life as a mother-of-three …

Miss Iran is Andy Baldwin's New Girlfriend  —  Now we know why US Navy Lt Andy Baldwin called off the engagement to Tessa Horst.  He had another woman in his back pocket!  —  The Bachelor hunk was spotted getting cozy with former Miss Iran, Sepideh Haftgoli, in a Los Angeles park on Sunday.

X17 XCLUSIVE: Britney Flies Home!  —  Here are some first pics of Brit - looking a little upset - boarding a private jet in Vegas after the VMAs today to take her home.  Even with the support of Alli and her bodyguard (and Starbucks), Britney unfortunately doesn't look in the happiest of moods.

I am - Kate Moss Topless Bikini Pics of the Day  —  I love Kate Moss.  I didn't always love Kate Moss because there was a point in her career where she looked like a tall, lanky boy.  But as she got older and she got hotter and grew some tits, but she seems to have lost those tits …

Hudson moves to 'Sex and the City' movie  —  Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson has joined the cast of "Sex and the City: The Movie" for New Line Cinema, which begins filming next week in New York.  —  Hudson will play "Louise," the assistant to Sarah Jessica Parker's "Carrie Bradshaw" in the film based on the hit HBO comedy series.

Kelly's Chicago debut has mum Sharon Osbourne in tears  —  If there is one thing worse than making your West End stage debut in front of a paying audience, it's being the mother of someone about to make their debut.  —  And Sharon was doing what many a mother would do in such a nerve-wracking situation... she was having a little weep.

Pete Wentz: It's 'Crazy' Kissing Best Friend Ashlee Simpson  —  Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson looked like music's most romantic couple at the MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas this weekend - and it wasn't just for show.  —  "We're past the honeymoon period," Wentz told PEOPLE.

Madonna Loves Sex Toys  —  Madonna might be fast approaching 50 but the days of her Sex book phase are not behind her.  —  Madge and director hubby Guy Ritchie were spotted leaving Claridges Hotel in London on Monday.  On their way out, her Madgesty was seen carrying a 'Purple Penetrator' strap-on sex toy in a clear plastic bag.

Kim Porter Says She Was Betrayed by Diddy  —  Kim Porter, who for more than a decade was in an on-again, off-again relationship with Sean "Diddy" Combs, is coming clean about the dissolution of their romance, saying his philandering was just one the reasons for their breakup in July.

HELP MY BRO GET OUT OF JAIL  —  DISGRACED designer Anand Jon, who is facing multiple counts of sexual assault, must be having trouble raising the $1.3 million bail he needs to get out of an L.A. jail.  Last week, several people received an e-mail from Jon's sister Sanjana Jon …

Brad & Angelina @ FAO Schwarz  —  Jetsetters Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie drop off son Maddox, 6, at the Lycee Francais de New York school on Monday morning.  —  Later in the morning, Brad and Angie took their middle children — Pax, 3, and Zahara, 2 — to FAO Schwarz in New York City.

BEG ELSEWHERE  —  ALICE+OLIVIA designer Stacey Bendet, who is showing her collection today at her West 40th Street store, is a mite miffed at model Molly Simms.  Responding to nymag.com - which noted, "The lower-end shows have the thinnest girls . . . The better-paid ones look more well fed" …