ICYMI: Britney Spears' Mexican Stand-Off With Paparazzi In A Quizno's Bathroom  —  Just as the legendary 90's rapper going by the name of "Humpty" claimed to have "once gotten busy in a Burger King bathroom", so too can Britney Spears now tell tale of the time she was trapped in a Quizno's bathroom …

Zut Alors!  Monsieur Maddox Jolie-Pitt Begins Kindergarten, And Lycée Parents Lose It  —  EDITION OF THE NEW YORK OBSERVER.  —  It seems the entire Upper East Side is aware that Maddox, the adopted son of Hollywood golden couple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, has begun school …

Jennifer Lopez Denies the Pregnancy  —  All those recent reports that Jennifer Lopez is three months pregnant?  The star says don't believe them.  "No, no!  We get this every week!"  Lopez told Us at the September 20 party in London for her upcoming album, Brave.

Spector Mistrial!  —  The judge in the Phil Spector murder trial has declared a mistrial, as jurors announced they were hopelessly deadlocked.  —  In the courtroom today, the jury foreperson told the judge that they were deadlocked 10 - 2 — with 10 jurors voting for a guilty verdict.

Pink and Carey Splitting Up?  —  Seems like Pink's marriage may be fading to black.  —  Although the singer's hubby of 21 months, motocross star Carey Hart, 32, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal in August that "everything's fine" between the two of them, Us has learned that the couple's itching to ditch their union.

Natalie Portman: Hot Legs  —  Update: Natalie Portman nude pictures from Hotel Chevalier!  —  Natalie Portman was out last night for a screening of her new short film Hotel Chevalier, in which we we see Natalie Portman's naked ass, and she was looking as super-cute as always.

Paris Will Never Do Letterman Again?!  —  A little birdie told me that Paris Hilton was not happy when David Letterman poked fun at her yesterday.  Paris shot a guest appearance on the Late Show yesterday which will air Friday.  Dave started making small jokes about jail and asked her how the food was and homegirl wasn't pleased.

X17 XCLUSIVE - Lindsay Bares All  —  Our favorite rehabber Lindsay Lohan has been looking pretty hot lately - just look at her the other day - and clearly she still keeps her sense of humor intact.  But while the actress has recently seemed much happier and healthier, we have to wonder about this …

Joe Simpson Confirms Ashlee's Nose Job  —  After more than a year of coy answers from Ashlee Simpson regarding her May 2006 nose job, her father Joe has finally confirmed that his daughter went under the knife.  —  In an interview with Fox News, Joe says he had no control over Ashlee's decision to undergo rhinoplasty.

Madonna is hands down the most vein star  —  She may have been wearing rose-coloured glasses, but not even Madonna could ignore the eye-popping state of her hands as she left London's Cecconi's restaurant last night.  —  The singer, who left the hotspot with her eyes downcast …

Hills Exclusive: Heidi Confirms Plastic Surgery, Says She "Hated" Her Body  —  Heidi Montag is finally ready to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  —  In an exclusive interview, Montag confirms what Us first reported in its April 23 issue: that she had undergone rhinoplasty and breast augmentation earlier that month.

Becks' dad has heart attack  —  DAVID Beckham's dad was fighting for life early today after a heart attack.  —  Ted Beckham, 59, was taken by ambulance to hospital after complaining of chest pains at home.  —  Sources said he DIED en route but was resuscitated by the crew.

Dina Lohan: Rumors Of Lindsay Leaving Rehab 'Not True'  —  Despite reports to the contrary, it appears Lindsay Lohan will not be leaving her Utah rehab facility this weekend.  —  When Access Hollywood's Billy Bush e-mailed Lindsay's mom, Dina, to find out if the reports of Lindsay coming home …

Halle Berry's race hate  —  Oscar-winner Halle Berry has hired security guards because of racist threats to her unborn baby.  —  The star, three months pregnant, has received letters at her LA home from an anonymous sicko.  —  One said she and her child would be "cut into hundreds of pieces".

MORE MARRIAGE TROUBLES FOR JULIA ROBERTS...  good morning!  i'm a little on the sleepy side - last night's james blunt concert was great - and i'll be posting pictures along w/ a more in-depth post later tonight!  anyways this week's national enquirer has a big story on julia roberts and her marriage woes …

Would You Hit It?  —  Hell yes I'd hit K.D. Lang!  You know she can work a strap-on better than most dudes can work their own dicks.  Those butchies know what the hell is up.  She probably is a master eater too!  I'll just put a little Chicken of the Sea on my no-no hole and she won't know the difference!