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5:10 PM ET, April 12, 2013

WeSmirch

 Top News: 
TMZ.com:
Kris Humphries — No-Show In Court  —  No-Show In Court  —  In Deep Doo Doo  —  EXCLUSIVE  —  Unless the Concorde was taken out of mothballs last night, there's no way Kris Humphries is going to appear for a MANDATORY settlement conference with Kim Kardashian today ... TMZ has learned.
RELATED:
Jenheger / RADAR:
Kim Kardashian Divorce Trial: She'll Be Forced To Admit Faking Scenes On TV Show To Make Ex Look Bad  —  Lawyers for Kim Kardashian's ex Kris Humphries intend on forcing the reality star to admit under oath that her top-rating E! show staged scenes to make him look bad, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
X17 Online:
KRIS HUMPHRIES WANTS $7 MILLION FROM KIM KARDASHIAN, BUT SKIPS COURT HEARING  —  Kim Kardashian barely made it to her divorce settlement hearing on time today after her driver accidentally took her to the wrong courthouse, but Kris Humphries didn't even bother to show up!
Discussion: TMZ.com
Celebslam:
Such poise. Such dignity. Such grace.
Discussion: Celebrity Blog …
TMZ.com:
Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries Face Off In Court
Daily Star:
KATE MIDDLETON A BIG FAN OF KIM KARDASHIAN
Discussion: PerezHilton and Digital Spy
TMZ.com:
Kris Humphries — Accused Of Ripping Off Bev Hills Suit Shop
Discussion: X17 Online
Shana Naomi Krochmal / Out Magazine:
Portia de Rossi: THAT GIRL!  —  Portia de Rossi has always been a lot more than one-half of television's most powerful gay couple — and with a new season of the cult hit ‘Arrested Development,’ she's back to prove it.  —  Photography by Kai Z Feng Styling by Grant Woolhead
RELATED:
Justin Ravitz / Us Weekly:   The only little feet pitter-pattering around the fabulous homes …
TMZ.com:
Lindsay Lohan — No Drugs or Booze for Me at Coachella  —  No Drugs, No Booze  —  For Me at Coachella  —  EXCLUSIVE  —  Lindsay Lohan is going on her yearly pilgrimage to a place where drugs and alcohol are as plentiful as Botox in Bev Hills ... but she SWEARS she'll stay clean.
RELATED:
Starpulse:
Lindsay Lohan Looks Great, Arrives Late To ‘Scary Movie 5’ Premiere  —  Last night, Lindsay Lohan arrived at the Los Angeles premiere of Scary Movie 5 30 minutes after the red carpet closed.  The 26-year-old actress, who makes an appearance in the movie opposite Charlie Sheen …
Discussion: Dlisted
Joyce Chen / Us Weekly:
Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen Walk Red Carpet Together at Scary Movie 5 Premiere: Picture  —  They're definitely two of a kind.  Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan walked the red carpet together at the Hollywood premiere of Scary Movie 5 on Thursday, April 11, and looked happy to be in each other's company.
TMZ.com:
Jonathan Winters Dead — Comic Legend Dies at 87  —  DEAD AT 87  —  EXCLUSIVE  —  Jonathan Winters, the comedic film and TV actor who was huge in the '70s and '80s on shows like “Mork and Mindy,” has died at age 87 ... TMZ has learned.  —  Winters died last night of natural causes in Montecito …
E! Online:
NEWS/Kendall Jenner Talks Modeling for Victoria's Secret ("I'd Love to") and Separating Herself From Kylie  —  Kendall Jenner is very much her own young woman these days.  —  E! News exclusively caught up with the 17-year-old today at a private viewing of “Nomad: Two Worlds,” …
Bedhead / Cele|bitchy:
Snooki is consumed w/weight loss, eats only lettuce, egg whites, booze, laxatives  —  Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has lost quite a bit of weight in the past several months since giving birth last August to her first child with Jionni LaValle, a boy named Lorenzo Dominic.
RELATED:
Joyce Chen / Us Weekly:   Snooki Wants a Boob Job After Nursing Baby Lorenzo: They're Not “Perky” Enough
Zayda Rivera / NY Daily News:
Bethenny Frankel on divorce: ‘I never heard how excruciating it is’  —  The reality star guest-hosted ‘Good Day New York’ and expressed the extreme heartache she's experienced since filing for divorce from Jason Hoppy in early January.  —  Bethenny Frankel described divorce as a ‘brutal, unnatural situation.’
Justin Ravitz / Us Weekly:
God bless the Americans — especially Keri Russell!  Gracing the May cover of Women's Health magazine, the FX actress reveals a slightly lesser-known side of herself: Her awe-inspiring bod, especially her abs!  Next to a blaring cover line that reads “BEST.  ABS.
Scott Roxborough / Hollywood Reporter:
MIPTV: ‘Vicious’ Stars Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi Catch the Gay Marriage Zeitgeist  —  The British sitcom from “Will and Grace” writer Gary Janetti, premieres on ITV this month.  —  CANNES - As the issue of gay marriage dominates the headlines worldwide — from decisions by the U.S. Supreme Court …
Fan Winston / Us Weekly:
Fergie Pretends to Breastfeed Joan Rivers: Picture!  —  Perhaps Fergie is studying to be a lactation consultant?  The Black Eyed Peas singer, who's pregnant with husband Josh Duhamel's baby, stopped by E! to talk maternity style with Fashion Police's Joan Rivers — but somehow ended …
Jordan Zakarin / Hollywood Reporter:
Kelly Ripa Talks Regis, Debates Mark Consuelos on Anthony Weiner's NYC Mayoral Run (Video)  —  The “Live!” host spoke with THR about the city's hottest news — the potential rise of former Rep. Anthony Weiner — and says she hasn't seen Regis since he left the show.
TMZ.com:
Diddy's Baby Mama - The Nanny Accusing Me of Drug Use is a Lying Thief  —  DIDDY'S BABY MAMA  —  The Nanny Making Drug  —  Claims is a Lying Thief  —  EXCLUSIVE  —  The woman accusing Kim Porter — Diddy's baby mama — of being a hard-core druggie who exposed her kids to marijuana …
Jessica Cumberbatch Anderson / The Huffington Post:
Tyrese: Fat People Are Big Because They Earned It  —  In the latest episode of “Keeping It Real Going Terribly Wrong,” singer-turned-actor, author and Twitter villain, Tyrese Gibson, has landed himself the starring role.  —  34-year-old Gibson spoke about his self-directed and narrated documentary …
Sophie Schillaci / Hollywood Reporter:
Patrick Duffy Calls for Two-Hour ‘Step By Step’ Reunion Special  —  “It would be fun to play that goofy Frank Lambert character again, aging another 25 years,” the “Dallas” star tells THR.  —  Bobby Ewing has got Patrick Duffy thinking.  —  The actor, who reprised the iconic role for TNT's Dallas reboot …
Discussion: AfterElton.com
 
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 More News: 
Erika Berlin / Cosmopolitan.com Conversation Starters …:
Conversation Starters … Towel Off With Ryan Lochte
Discussion: Socialite Life
Nellie Andreeva / Deadline.com:
David Marciano Departs ‘Homeland’ As Regular, Preps Cable Prison Drama
Discussion: Digital Spy
Mike Fleming Jr / Deadline.com:
Fox Swings For Electronic Dance Music Pitch Built Around EDM Star Diplo
Discussion: I Watch Stuff
Jake Paine / HipHopDX:
RiFF RaFF To Appear As “Jamie Franko” On “One Life To Live” Soap Opera
Discussion: Stereogum
Billboard:
Jeff Buckley Musical Could Grace Broadway Stage
Discussion: Digital Spy
Justin Kroll / Variety:
Morgan Freeman Finds ‘Transcendence’ With Johnny Depp
Discussion: PerezHilton and Digital Spy
Jarett Wieselman / ETonline.com:
First Look!  —  In New Orleans, the air is thick with blood...
Discussion: PerezHilton
 Earlier Picks: 
Sky News:
Beaver Bites Man To Death In Belarus Attack
Discussion: Gawker
Rebecca Trounson / Los Angeles Times:
Mickey Rose dies at 77; Woody Allen collaborator and TV writer
Discussion: Deadline.com
Cindy Adams / New York Post:
Lauer makes light of image
EndPlay / KGTV-TV:
Former ‘Peanuts’ voice actor Peter Robbins pleads guilty to threats, stalking
People.com:
Cory Monteith: Inside His Downward Spiral
Nellie Andreeva / Deadline.com:
Patricia Arquette Joins ‘Boardwalk Empire’