La Lohan to Oprah: "I'm Not a Party Girl!"  —  Lindsay Lohan scoffed at her party girl label on Tuesday's "Oprah," telling the talk queen, "I'm twenty years old!  Is it a crime to go dancing with your friends?"  With the legal drinking age at 21, depending on the club, it might be!

K-Fed Rocks Near-Empty Webster Hall  —  K-Fed Saturday night.  —  Photo: John Martin  —  Aspiring rapper and Britney Spears barnacle Kevin Federline played his first New York show this weekend — it kicked off the tour promoting his self-released debut, Playing With Fire — and Webster Hall Saturday night was a curious sight indeed.

FOLLOW THE TWINS  —  TAKING after her sister Paris, Nicky Hilton is going after an Olsen twin ex.  While Paris bagged Stavros Niarchos, a former flame of Mary-Kate, Nicky - who dumped Kevin Connolly last month for cheating on her with a college girl - has quietly been dating Ashley Olsen's ex …

Britney Pops In on a Surprised David Letterman  —  Spears and Letterman on Nov. 6  —  Britney Spears played it for laughs on Monday night's Late Show with David Letterman.  —  Sporting a blonde bob and a short black dress that showed off her newly svelte shape, the new mom - whose second son …

K-Fed plays to an almost empty house  —  Wannabe rapper has to beg club not to cancel his concert  —  K-Fed's New York City gig at Webster Hall wasn't cancelled as some predicted - but it reportedly took some big-time begging on his part.  —  "They were going to cancel this concert …

Faith Hill Speaks Out on CMA Freak Out  —  Faith Hill and her manager are responding to comments about the sour note she appeared to have struck during Monday night's Country Music Association awards, during the female vocalist of the year award presentation.

Anna Nicole Smith's Cesarean Section  —  In lieu of context, please accept this "Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!"

Petra Nemcova and Russell Simmons?  Really?  —  If you thought Petra Nemcova and James Blunt was a weird match, then the thought of the former Victoria's Secret model getting it on with Russell Simmons will probably make your head explode.  I've only just finished cleaning up the little bits of brain off my keyboard.

A field guide to the Hiltons  —  Chronicling the history of the hideously hyped inn crowd  —  Welcome to the "House of Hilton," Jerry Oppenheimer's thorough new tell-all that tries to explain the familial follies that unleashed the famous-for-nothing Paris Hilton on our world.

Elisha Cuthbert Is The Hottest Bag Lady I've Ever Seen  —  All you Elisha Cuthbert fans out there may want to avert your eyes from this post, because it isn't pretty.  From the looks of these pictures I'm going to guess that all the mirrors in her house were out of order, or else she just made a quick escape from the insane asylum.

Lance Armstrong Struggles in NYC Marathon  —  Armstrong after the marathon  —  Lance Armstrong, who knows a thing or two about tough competition, got more of a challenge than he expected Sunday when he ran the ING New York City Marathon.  —  "For the level of condition that I have now …

Turkish man says he's the real Borat  —  ANKARA, Turkey - A Turkish Internet celebrity is so convinced he was the inspiration for Sacha Baron Cohen's "Borat" character, he's traveling to London seeking an apology and a way to get paid from the film's surprise success.

Diddy: 'I'm Just Not Ready' to Marry Kim  —  They're expecting twin girls in December, but Sean "Diddy" Combs and girlfriend Kim Porter won't get married anytime soon, the music mogul says.  —  "I know she deserves to get married," Diddy, 37, tells Essence magazine in its December issue, "but I'm just not ready."

Dying to be cute  —  Are celebrities starving themselves to mimic our culture's image of "cuteness"?  There are well established theories that assert our species preference for "juvenile features" (large eyes, bulging craniums, retreating chins), and that over generations, our shape has evolved to mimic this appearance.

'Sunny' keeps shining on FX  —  Net brings back laffer for third season  —  FX has greenlit 15 new half-hours of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" to begin production next spring, up from 10 last season.  —  FX is bringing back critically acclaimed laffer "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" for a third season.

Brooklyn Man Charged With Murder Of Actress  —  Construction Worker Expected To Be Arraigned Tuesday  —  (CBS/AP) NEW YORK Prosecutors have charged a man with murdering actress Adrienne Shelly, who was found hanging from a shower rod in her West Village office last Wednesday, CBS 2 News has learned.

WHOSE RIPPED CROTCH?  —  It's not terribly rock 'n' roll to carry a miniature sewing kit about with you, we know.  —  But it's pretty darn helpful if your trousers split.  —  As was the embarrassing realisation for new INXS frontman, JD Fortune.  —  He was rocking out at the Virgin Megastore …

Granny Katie  —  Papa Tom and Grannie Katie dined at Wolfgang Puck's Cut steakhouse last night at the Regent Beverly Wilshire, looking at least twice their actual ages.  Katie accentuated her sizable calves with a boring black dress that hits her just at the wrong place on her legs …

Is Mel Mad About Max?  —  MAXwear lip colors  —  Apparently there will be a "Mad Max 4" movie; however; Mel Gibson will not be starring in the film.  I didn't even know there was a Mad Max 2 or 3 out to even make room for number four?  Director George Miller has stated clearly …