WHY BRITNEY COULDN'T HACK IT  —  Britney Spears has no one to blame but herself for her disastrous performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night.  The lip-synching pop tart showed up for her big comeback late, unprepared and with a drink in her hand.

Madonna's X-rated purchase revealed  —  More than a decade after shocking the world her infamous coffee table photo-book Sex, Madonna has proved that she's still capable of raising eyebrows.  —  While she may have traded in that infamous raunchy image for a more settled life as a mother-of-three …

Oprah Winfrey leaves her dogs $30 mil, gives Stedman $250 mil for split  —  Like Leona Helmsley, whose dog Trouble inherited $12 million, billionaire Oprah is planning on bequeathing her dogs a sum that could serve as hefty lottery winnings.  —  When Oprah kicks, her dogs are going to get $30 million for their care.

Jessica Simpson Is Going Country  —  Jessica Simpson is ready to add another accessory to her always-stylish look - a cowboy hat.  —  The singer is "talking about doing a country record and going back to her roots, being from Texas," Jessica's father and manager, Joe Simpson …

"Full House" Star Pregnant — An Inside Look  —  TMZ has the inside scoop on Jodie Sweetin, aka Stephanie on "Full House," and when we say "inside," we mean inside!  —  TMZ has obtained this sonogram of Steph's baby with hubby Cody Herpin, courtesy of the happy couple themselves.

Rosie O'Donnell Tells Barbara Walters to Retire  —  Rosie O'Donnell has some words of advice for Barbara Walters: Go, already.  —  In her upcoming memoir, Celebrity Detox, which sheds light on, among other episodes in her life, the TV star's tumultuous stint last season on The View …

There's Something About Tori  —  It looks like Tori Spelling has dropped all the baby weight, but it also looks like she's had a little help from Mr. Scalpel.  Homegirl is probably going to say that she did it with "pilates and eating healthy" but pilates will not make your face look like a stretched out whoopie cushion.

Owen Wilson is resisting a stay in rehab despite the urging of close friends and family, according to a new report.  —  Following the actor's suicide attempt last month, Owen was expected to head straight to a drug and alcohol treatment facility after checking out of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

Hudgens to Go "Wild"?  —  If embattled "High School Musical" star Vanessa Hudgens decides to move on from Disney, Joe Francis says he'll be there to pick up the pieces!  How convenient!  —  TMZ has learned that Francis, King of the Boob Flash, has offered Hudgens $500,000 to "join the GGW brand and lifestyle."

Dina Lohan to Jodie Foster: Don't Judge Without Facts!  —  First Donald Trump, then ex-husband Michael and now actress Jodie Foster: if you criticize Dina Lohan, you will hear from her!  —  In response to Jodie Foster's question in a Gotham magazine interview, "Can I just ask, where is [Lindsay Lohan's] mother?

Brit's Bits Exposed...Again  —  We don't blame Britney Spears for hitting the town and partying her cares away after last night's disastrous MTV VMA performance.  But is it too much to ask that she do it with some underwear on?  —  The 25-year-old mom of two, who was spotted crying backstage …

Kathy Griffin's Emmy remarks upset catholic group, E! airing to censor  —  Kathy Griffin told Jesus to "suck it" after her Bravo show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List won Outstanding Reality Program honors during Saturday's 2007 Creative Arts Emmy Awards ceremony — a sentiment …

Katie Holmes Gives Fan Photos  —  Katie Holmes gets in some alone time by visiting some art galleries in Paris on Tuesday.  —  After having lunch on her own at the Hotel Costes, Katie walked around in Saint-Germain-des-Prés, located around the church of the former Abbey of Saint-Germain-des-Prés.

Us Weekly Celebrates the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers  —  The place to be on Monday night was NYC's club Arena, where fashionable New Yorkers including Kimora Lee Simmons, Tim Gunn, Natalie Morales and Aerin Lauder were honored by Us Weekly for their trendsetting ways.

It's Not That Serious!!!!!!!  —  The Insider has the backstage video of Kanye West throwing the diva tantrum at the VMAs that was widely reported.  Norma Desmond he is not!  Bitch needs to stop acting like he f**king lost an Oscar or something.  It's a damn MOONMAN.  S**t Kanye, I'll buy you one myself.